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Match Report... |
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Carshalton 1s |
2 | Michael Pickett, Mark Raven |
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Milford & Witney |
1 |
SAL - 6th December 2003
We have not kept a clean sheet all season. Costus is away in Europe, Dan is selected, but on Saturday, he cant play!!! He still hasn't apologised, oh well! Anyway as Club Captain sometimes you have to do it yourself. ALA 5 - 0 - stick that up your fat backside Costus!! Before the game, the first team showed all the normal signs of their usual professionalism. Just before we left, Wiggy pipes up "Who's got the kit?" (that's why he works in the City you know, brains). It turns out Costus washed the kit! Yep he's in Europe! Anyway kit got sorted, Baker was Late! The perfect preparation that had sparked our current dazzling form.
Keith Cave was working his comic genius in the changing room. Jonny Phillips our saviour is only a nipper. He had gone out the night before with Dave Tilley, Adam Taylor and a few other reprobates throughout the club.
Wiggy - "How do you play with a
hangover?"
Jon - "I've never played with one before" (triffic)
THE GAME - Cars all over oppo from the off. Wiggy shakes his hips in the box, is subsequently taken out and slots home the pen 1 - 0. No 2 would have been a corker, Gareth Hobbs who worked tirelessly throughout the game struck a bullet from 20 yards, it hit the inside of post and Michael Pickett mopped up (Pickett played his best of the season, well done Picks). Goal 3 - corner to Keith Cave for a special - whipped across the box, Wiggy sneaks round the back post from nowhere and finishes like a man who can not miss. Meanwhile defence is solid (ESPECIALLY gk who pulled off a one-on-one that Costus would have been proud of). Baker and Swany don't miss a heading challenge all afternoon.
Second half - we score two more. Mark Raven runs from his own half to 'meg their rather poor GK, even if I do say so myself and Wiggy (F*ck*r) gets a (F**king) hatrick from a (f*ck*n*) miss hit hook/cross (F**K!!!!!). Well done Matthew.
Anyone who fancies writing a match report please feel free. Students are getting a bit upset that I am doing this rather than teaching them in IT lessons.
Captain Cook (footballer, not adventurer / explorer)
5-0 victory over Old Lyonians (15 goals in 3 games)
Well the action started well before kick-off with a number of schoolboy errors from the senior members of the squad. The journey North seemed something of a bind, especially as the prospect of turning up without a kit was at one point a distinct possibility (Backers - last week's kit washer - was away on a jolly up at a secret Disney location and had not passed it on ).
All was resolved when a series of international phone calls resulted in us locating a next door neighbour (who had keys) who let us in to collect the sacred green and white. 12.15 and heading South rather than North, the journey seemed even more daunting, but some fancy manoeuvres on the M25 (remind me what chevrons are actually for) saw us arrive in good time and good spirits (talking of spirits - Tilley make sure you keep Phillips off them in the early hours of the morning).
An early penalty was awarded to Cars after Wigham went down in theatrical fashion after a clash with a somewhat ugly right back. Matt managed to pull himself up and put all memories of his last miserable attempt from 12 yards out of his mind and slotted home. He added another and so did young Pickett (season starting to come alive) to give us a thoroughly deserved lead at half time. Very few words of wisdom were needed during the break and the second half continued in the same fashion as the first. An outrageous hit and hope goal secured another Wigham hat trick (and jug of Stella) and the rout was complete when I raced (chugged) clear of their defence to nutmeg the keeper. Talking of keepers a special mention should go to Andy Cook who managed to keep our first clean sheet of the season (one to watch).
Good
game
Good
goals
Good
performance
Good
food
Good
company
Good
bye (Old Lyonians).
Mark "I can't believe I'm older than Gareth" Raven
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