Anyone that has ever played football will tell you that being injured is the worst feeling in the world. Add on top of that getting knocked out of the cup, after seeing one of the worst red cards in the history of the World, getting covered in sick and then paying £100 for a cab from the club to Sutton, and you have just entered my Saturday from hell.

Saturday did not start well for the Two’s. With probably the biggest game of the season so far looming, Shane Bowes and Badgie (again) turned up late, leaving the team lined up with Charlie Sinclair up front on his own and Kev McLeod, who hasn’t played in 8 weeks, in midfield. The “gaffer” put in a solid 15 minutes before being replaced by late-comer number one, Bowes. He even managed to get Cars first effort on goal, swivelling and striking at goal. Unfortunately it was a bit of a powder puff effort, probably because there wasn’t enough WD40 on his hip. Despite the poor preparation, the majority of the first half saw Cars on top and the lead was deservedly taken when Ryan Polley picked the ball up on the left and carried it around 15 yards before drilling it in off the post. Salesians only real attack of note ended after a great tackle from Tom Lawler, which resulted in him having to be substituted. This left Cars with only Ross Sinclair on the bench and things weren’t looking good when McLeod complained of cramp 5 minutes before the end of the half. How Kev managed to become the least fit player in the 2’s is anyone’s guess!! Cars plan to hold out until half time and re-group was ruined when a cross from the left was headed towards goal, only to hit the arm of the turning Chris Tilley. The decision to award a penalty was probably correct, but the following red card that was dished out was, at best, a terrible decision and at worst, an absolute disgrace. Everyone appreciates how hard a job it is to referee, but everyone is there to enjoy the game and decisions like this one not only ruin a game, but ruin players faith in a referee to make the correct decision in future. Credit to the majority of Salesians players (barring the one clown who screamed for the red card) for apologising after the game and agreeing it was never a sending off, unfortunately the damage had already been done. From the resulting penalty Andreas Carey-Bailey was sent the wrong way and the scores were level.

The second half began with Ross Sinclair coming on for McLeod and going up front. From early in the half it became apparent that Cars were going to have to withstand a lot more pressure than in the first half. Salesians were looking dangerous – especially down the flanks – and all that was missing was the final ball. That was rectified when the ball was cut back perfectly to the oncoming midfielder who struck the ball into the top of the net. The make shift centre half pairing of Badgie and Michael Winyard were playing really well, and although Cars were under a lot of pressure it looked like they were coping. Shane Bowes was moved up front with Sinclair to try and snatch an equaliser and the gamble paid off when Bowes beat two players before being upended in the box. Polley stepped up and coolly slotted the penalty home. Cars could have won it in normal time when a speculative effort from Polley almost found its way into the top corner. The only person in the Cars side who seemed to be pleased it didn’t go in was Polley himself, as he didn’t want to buy a jug.

Extra time was pretty non descript and the only thing that really happened was two goals for Salesians. The first was an unfortunate deflection and the second saw the Salesians winger in acres of space as the ten men went looking for an equaliser.

All in all a fantastic performance from Carshalton, which always seemed like it was never going to happen. Bad luck, bad refereeing and bad preparation put paid to what could have been a very successful cup run.

Anyway, onto the club Christmas drink, and after the warm up act of everyone regaling each other with stories of Jay Breen’s drunken antics, the main event. Enter Dan Lawler. Despite being designated to lock the club up, Dan proceeded to pass out by half past 9. After being carried down the stairs by five people, Dan decided that what would be a really good idea would be to throw up all over a cab. In Dan’s defence he did make a good effort to keep the cab clean, as most of the sick ended up in my lap. After paying the cab driver an extortionate amount of money to leave, I was left with Dan’s long suffering girlfriend trying to get him up the stairs into his flat. With no help - or response -from young Daniel, we were left with no option but to call an ambulance. So at the grand age of 26, Mr Lawler spent Saturday night in St Helier hospital because he was drunk. D*** of the Year, anyone?

Team: A Carey-Bailey, D Fenton, T Lawler, C Tilley, B Wood, M Boyman, D Lawler, M Winyard, K McLeod, R Polley, C Sinclair, S Bowes, Badgie, R Sinclair 

Boothy