Football.  I love the game.  My love started many years ago when I played my first competitive match for my village team at junior level.  I moved into adult football and represented my local town’s team.  So over the years I have probably played in over 1000 games. On Saturday I met my nemesis!  Please read my report.

My journey to North London, my third in four weeks and four in a row for my other team members started at 11:45am with a bus trip (70p) to East Croydon station and then the train (travel card £5.00) to Victoria for the 12:30 meet at Wetherspoons.  With the team assembled, we travelled to High Barnet on the Tube and a ten-minute walk to East Barnet ground arriving at 2.30pm.  With the morning’s rain the pitches looked good and with the sun shining, I was looking forward to the afternoon’s game.

I have played for Carshalton Football Club now for 12 seasons and have been elected as the Team Secretary with the responsibility to making sure that each team from the 1’s to the 8’s have at least eleven players at the time of kick-off on Saturdays.  It is not easy to find players who will travel to North London week in week out.  The 4s fixtures this season see them play three straight away games all in North London, with this game originally scheduled for a home fixture.  At Monday night's selection meeting I was informed that the fixture was now away!  Causing myself several phone calls cajoling players to travel, I do wonder if after Saturday’s game, players will ever want to travel to North London.  With the cost of the trip £5.70 and then the match fee £5.00 is it all worth the hassle?

Now that I have time to reflect as I write this report on Sunday evening, this game and the farcical decisions, now question my love affair with football.  At several times in the second half I felt that I should walk off the pitch and throw my football boots into the nearest bin, some might say I should have done this years ago! 

The game started to go wrong in the first few minutes.  We won a throw-in deep in the E.B.O.G. half.  The Carshalton player was about to throw the ball into play when the referee blew his whistle.  He told us that our player was time wasting and it was now an EBOG throw!  The ball was knocked long upfield where our player kicked the ball out for a throw-in . The throw-in was long into our penalty area.  James Robins was marking the EBOG forward and both players jumped for the header, the ball went out for a goal-kick.  The referee instead awarded a penalty to EBOG!!!  I was amazed at this decision thinking, like the opposition, it was a goal kick.  The referee then booked our player, Dave Paterson (booking number 1) for which I believe was for verbal/ frustration (but no swearing), EBOG scored from the spot. (1-0) and one booking, the story goes on.

The referee was very smartly dressed in a pin-striped referee’s kit, very similar to the ones worn in the Premiership and he was refereeing as if this was a top level game.  His interpretation of the offside laws with active and non-active players was totally confusing for both sides.  I know that referees have a hard enough job without linesman but this referee was trying to apply the offside rules which we see on The Premiership on a Saturday evening, when Ron Atkinson/Ally McCoist are to be found somewhat confused.

If we put this game into context, this is a division one game in the fourth team section of the SAL.  We are amateurs who look forward to our weekly game of Association Football, played in a true Corinthian spirit where common sense values should be used.  We do not earn thousands a week, rather we pay for the pleasure of playing.

Carshalton scored through Richard Verlander with a lobbed shot over the keeper     (1-1) 15mins. EBOG scored (2-1) 20mins. We believed this to be an offside goal but with the referee saying active/non-active, I am not sure, maybe it was onside.

With our midfield battling for the loose ball, Steve Tait was the next into the book (2-1) 2 bookings,1 penalty.  As I have said before in this marathon of a report, the referee would not talk after the game when I saw him in the bar.  At Carshalton for the last two years we have been awarded the AFA Referees Association ‘Most Hospitable Club’ award.  The referees are generally only too willing to talk about the game.  All I wanted from the ref was the names and the reasons for the players that he had booked / sent off.  Surely he could have communicated this as I did ask very politely in my official capacity. 

Where are we, oh yes (2-1) 2 yellow cards, and 1 penalty later.  Penalty number two, the E.B.O.G. forward received the ball wide and ran into our area.  I ran to tackle the player and both our shoulders met.  I took the ball away from the player and went to kick the ball upfield.  The referee blew his whistle for a penalty, he told me shoulder-to-shoulder was not allowed and that I had pushed the player over.  By standing my ground and not falling over I had committed a foul on the forward.  I didn’t know that football is now a non contact sport. 

So penalty number 2 - this one was saved by Danny Glenister.  The next few lines will tell you how farcical this game was.  James Robins who was playing in central midfield went in for a challenge with an E.B.O.G. player.  The two players bumped into each other with the ball falling just behind James.  I went to kick the ball at which time the referee blew his whistle.  He then called James and I over to speak to him.  The E.B.O.G. players could not believe what was happening and they appealed to the referee that he had made a mistake.  My booking, according to the ref, was for intent.  I must question this - I did not touch the ball nor the opposition player.   My only intention was to pass the ball forward.  If the referee can read minds, maybe he should try his luck at the National Lottery.  The score now being (2-1), 4 bookings, 2 penalties later.  EBOG scored again to make it (3-1) at half-time.

In the second half things started to go from bad to worse in this farcical game - this was all the referee's doing.  If he had used common sense this report would not have to be written.  I have better things to do than write reports expressing my incredulity.  Danny Glenister, our goalkeeper and captain, received a straight red card for a foul on the E.B.O.G. forward who had tried to round Danny with his dive, which bought the forward down.  The referees in Premiership games sometimes award red/yellow cards for this type of foul but surely this should have been a yellow.  I took over in goal and didn’t have a chance to save the penalty.  (4-1), 4 bookings 3 penalties and 1 sent off.  With ten men and with players who were not able to tackle for fear of being sent off, E.B.O.G.  passed and moved around the pitch and scored again.  (5-1), 4 bookings, 3 penalties and 1 sent off.  We then had Dave Paterson injured so he took over the goalkeeping duties. This is when I came to the conclusion that maybe the best thing to do was walk off and save the team any more fines and suspensions.

In all the games I have played, I have never felt like this before.  This referee had done what many players had tried before and totally knock the heart out of me.  I just wanted to play football, enjoy the game, have a few beers afterwards and return to watch England  on the TV.

Penalty number 4 was awarded for a body check by our stand-in keeper Dave Paterson.  The referee spoke to Dave Paterson and I understand that he said  that Dave had obstructed the forward.  Surely this should have been an indirect free kick?  He then issued the second yellow card to Dave Paterson.   Alex Corner took over in goal and couldn’t save the penalty. (6-1), 5 bookings, 4 penalties and 2 sent off .

I may have missed some of the goals for E.B.O.G.  Dave may well have let more goals in before receiving his marching orders.  We were awarded a penalty, when Steve Tait was fouled.  However he got up from the foul to take the penalty and promptly missed.  By this time we were requesting the referee to blow the final whistle and put an end to this game.   There was not one bad tackle, or any foul and abusive language in this game.  He finally blew the whistle and the final score was 10-1. 5 bookings, 5 penalties, 2 sent off and 4 goalkeepers.  With all the bookings and sending offs we didn’t stand a chance. 

I shook hands with all their players and asked if / when we appeal against bookings and sending offs if any of their players would back us as to the goings on of this game.  I received a resounding 100% backing from the E.B.O.G. captain.  He has given me his name and mobile telephone number.  This must be testament as to how the game was played.

Afterwards in the bar we had a few beers with the opposition players and shared a jug of lager before departing for our journey home.  I arrived home at 8:20pm just in time to see Michael Owen score the winner, my dinner was in the dog, the wife gave me an earful, the kids had gone to bed, but I did play football or had I?           

Booked  - Dave Paterson, Steve Tait, Trevor Boughton, James Robins

Sent Off - Danny Glenister, Dave Paterson (Second Yellow Card)