The game against Economicals was arranged late in the week by Jim Finn who then left us to it to watch some boring West London premiership team (and it wasn’t Fulham…). Thank you Jim, and Economicals too, for succeeding in arranging a game, as we all miss it if there isn’t one.

I’m not sure whether it was as a result of the biblical theme in Norm’s last report, but Carshalton appeared to be assisted by ‘divine intervention’ on three key occasions during the game. We saw a left foot drive from John Foster (i.e. with the leg he normally only uses for balancing against the bar), another goal (“and then some!!” more of that later…) by the Dutchman (following his extended barren spell which was so eloquently publicised to everyone by Norm last week) and a headed goal by Pete Culham (who normally only uses his head to grow hair on in various locations). All good things clearly come in threes.

Carshalton started the game in the right spirit and created various chances early on. Unfortunately, because of a rare mix up in our defence, Economicals took the lead against the run of play. Driven on by our very vocal goalkeeper and back line (Norm was the only shrinking violet…) Carshalton pushed on and Trevor (a.k.a. our ‘off the field’ Captain) in particular provided some good runs and crosses from the left but we won’t talk about the miss from one yard or the lame excuse (something to do with snooker…. oh who cares!) as to why that occurred! One of those periods of Carshalton pressure found Economicals unable to clear their lines and the Dutchman found John Foster on the right who had no hesitation in dispatching a low powerful left foot drive for our equaliser (Miracle 1).

At halftime, our ‘on the field’ Captain Wayne produced a vocal volley that struck a chord with us as we were indeed often second to the opposition in 50-50 situations. As a result, the second half saw Carshalton compete even more vigorously. Further vocal volleys from Wayne in the direction of referee were less effective as Lenny was certainly not impressed!

Then the moment arrived which my natural Dutch humility and unassuming attitude does not allow me to describe. Luckily, Norm has volunteered to provide his objective view of the occasion that shall be termed Miracle 2:

“Report of Tony’s wondergoal” – written by ‘The Norm’ to ensure that Tony’s modesty is preserved, and there is a moderation of descriptive words, unerringly accurate account of the event and, an overall reduction in use of metaphor, simile and hyperbole:

“Shortly after the start of the second half, the ball came in from a superb cross delivered by Trevor Boughton.  Our Tony was standing close to the penalty spot, instinctively he spun and lifted leg to meet ball.  Some say the ball hit his shin (Ed: bollocks!), some say it was his knee (Ed: more bollocks!), some say that it was a lucky fluke (Ed: utter, utter bollocks), and some even say that it wasn’t Tony that connected with the ball it was actually his ego.  In fact, the truth is as follows: Tony saw the ball coming in; he leapt majestically, like a great white shark rising from the water to catch a seal, and took the opportunity to send the ball flying into the Economicals top corner.  It was clear from his post-goal reaction (involving some air-punching and a noise resembling a cross between a roaring lion and the lyrics to an Elvis song ‘I Got Lucky’) that Mr van Emst was moderately pleased with his goal.”

To prevent van Emst’s head growing even bigger and thereby adversely affecting his natural poise and balance, ‘on the field’ Captain Wayne had him substituted to rapturous applause from the terraces (well, from Steve Hall anyway… nice to see you again Steve!).

We continued to create chances and Sam powered a terrific drive from the edge of the box unfortunately straight at the goalie. Miracle 3 arrived after we had withstood some persistent pressure from Economicals who were searching for an equaliser. A deep cross from the right saw Pete rise like a powerful salmon out of a raging river and head our third goal at the far post. This broke the opposition’s final resistance and we finished the game in control.

 Tony van Emst