Two games into the latest of a growing list of comebacks and the proverbial bubble has already well and truly burst!  Last week's triumphant and match winning performance [captain's words] have faded due to a not very enjoyable Saturday afternoon spent in Roehampton.  To make matters worse, Chairman Von Dutch lumbered me with the match report and I now have to try and emulate Norm [of the Bailey] Joss QC.  At least most of the club membership might be able to understand what the bloody hell has been going on in the Vets this week!!  

After nearly two hours of travelling across London I finally arrived at the ground at 2.15pm for a 2.30pm kick off to find that I was early!  It seemed all roads leading to SW15 were heavily congested.  At kick off, the oppo had nine players but no keeper and no ref!  We had eleven players but no keeper.  Stand-in skipper and Chairman, Von Dutch decided Ian Newman would go on a loan deal to the oppo as goalie, Gilly would be our keeper until Aldo turned up and we would play a 3-6-5 formation!

Roger, the oppo's right back, would try to play and ref at the same time.  There would surely be tears?!

Eventually we kicked off and we played with a confidence you only get when playing against 9 men, knocking the ball about well and keeping possesion.  At some stage both teams had eleven players but this did not deter us and we took the lead from a well worked Pete Culham strike.  Thinking that was that, we stopped doing all the good stuff and deservedly got punished before half time, 1-1 at the break.

By this time Roger the right back / ref was finding it increasingly hard to combine the two jobs. Throw ins were particularly difficult as he had to put his whistle down to take the throw and then try to find it again to blow for any resulting fouls.

We carried on from where we left for the second half and soon found ourselves 2-1 down but to our credit we got back into the game and were awarded a penalty which Roger the right back/ref gave against himself for hauling down Chairman Von Dutch!!!  Gavin stepped up but hit it straight at their third keeper of the day.

We kept going and got our equaliser when Gavin made amends for his pathetic penalty by slotting home from a tight angle.  By now some of the oppo were taking advantage of Roger the right back / refs good nature and tried to con a penalty out of him which he gave and then overturned.  The oppo centre forward suddenly realising that after 80 mins there was no ref to worry about launched several assaults on our players including one nasty one on our keeper!  It was with some relief, mainly his own, that Roger the right back / ref blew the final whistle.

A fair result but not an enjoyable one.  Well done to everyone for putting in a good effort.  The back four, well marshalled by Derek, kept it tight and tried to play out from the back.  Norm even gave blood, taking a blow on his giant conk.  The midfield three and Chairman Von Dutch worked tirelessly with Chris M. having a good game [COYW].  The old boys up front always looked dangerous and got a good goal each.

The showers were built for midgets and only Derek got wet, then it was off to the local for a couple of cold ones with duelling banjos playing on the juke box.  Strange pub!!  Of course next week will be better and hopefully we can carry on our unbeaten run to three and Norm QC can write the report.

 Shedbloke